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Design Dilemma
veekeelee

What type of professional should I consult?

vicky lee
9 years ago
My problem is whether to stay, or sell or capitalise on my property.
After a very busy working life juggling family and heavy business responsibilities I now have time to take stock. I have a large family home and my children are now adults. The property has potential for development either by me or to a buyer. The garden could have potential for building. I don't have anywhere special I want to move to but need to tidy up years of unsorted stuff and make a plan for the future.
Featured Answer
  • Maggie Soukop
    9 years ago
    You have been given some extremely good advice re finances etc which I can't add to but having just recently been in the same situation I can appreciate what you are going through emotionally. It's a huge decision moving from a large family home, so overwhelming is the task that it is in many ways easier to stay put! The first plan of action is to clear the house, it will be overwhelming so make sure you have support . You could be doing this whilst getting advice re finance and life coach etc. Do get rid of everything no longer useful or that you love, it's amazing how this helps clear the mind and it's a job that needs done whatever you decide to do anyway and at the end of it you feel so relieved, I had stores of bank statements going back 30yrs!! The trouble with having lots of space is you fill it. It took me 9 mths to essentially get rid of junk, the house looked marvellous afterwards.
    Its all a traumatic experience but I can't put into words the relief of no longer having the worry of such a large property. My wish was to stay near my children and their babies so I have bought a very small house near by which I am having totally refurbished with every mod con whilst renting another place. Thank goodness for Houzz! I'm having great fun starting afresh and I know that no matter how decrepit I become I won't need to move again.
    If you do sell you should perhaps have enough to rent regularly a small place in Tuscany and have the best of both worlds. Please be assured it will all be worth the trauma.

    • Comments (11)

    • PRO
      OnePlan
      9 years ago
      If you like the area and want to stay - why not convert in to apartments and generate either a lump sum by selling off or keep your investment and rent out the apartments - keeping the one you are happiest in for yourself ? And giving you an income ( make sure you soundproof your place best !!! )

      First I'd see some local estate agent - to find out what's selling - what's renting - what rental values are for what sized properties etc see what's achievable - do your sums and work out what will offer the best return on investment overall.

      Then I'd say approach an architect with a view to separating the building into what would suit the maker best .

      Might be nice to ask your children for their opinions too ? They might want to 'house swap' if they have an expanding family ?!
      See an independent financial adviser if you do something along these lines as you don't want to inadvertently do something the tax man might not approve of !

      Enjoy your time of reflection !!! Happy house full of happy past memories I hope ?! Time to let others enjoy it too maybe ! ;-)
    • vicky lee
      Original Author
      9 years ago
      Yes One Plan you are right to point out the obvious, but the home I have was based on a location with a good 30 minute walk to work and near my children's schools. Now work has ended and schools long gone I will have a different lifestyle as yet unknown. It's difficult to know whether to stay or go. My brain goes round in circles. It's so long since I made a decision based only on my own desires that I have forgotten what it feels like.
      My need is an adviser without a vested interest. I suppose I need some sort of life coach with design skills, planning experience, good financial understanding, and who can help me through this transitional phase in my life.
      I have thought along the lines you so clearly put, but really I don't want business responsibilities again. Becoming a landlord is not my aim. I am not sure I want to live through major building work.
      Even if I were to sell, the house does need a rethink in design and marketing. We have lived a rather chaotic life in the house. Its sort of shabby chic without the chic and rather neglected in repairs.
      I sort of want to live in a dream house in Tuscany at the bottom of my garden.

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      Hi Jenny, We went through a very similar process 6 months ago (and are still mid renovation) so can share our experience with you if it helps. We went around and around in terms of what and who you need and in what order, including architect, structural engineer and Interior designer and found it very difficult to work out what we needed. With some help we got there in the end and have learnt quite a bit in the process about the different options and also costs!!! There are probably a couple of questions that are key before anyone can really share any helpful advice ... Do you need planning permission for any of the renovations you want to do? Do any of the alterations you want to make include structural walls? (If you don't know that's fine and also helps determine who you need to consult) Do you want creative input / design advice on actual layout or do you already know what you want to do? (Again if you don't know then that also helps determine who you need to consult) Once people know a bit of the above I'm sure we can help :)
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    • PRO
      Verge Group
      9 years ago
      I've dealt with lot's of things like this. If you want some advice feel free to drop me a line. If you have the land strike a good deal that someone builds the house of your dreams at the bottom of your garden on the basis they get the property? There's loads of idea's, just make sure you benefit how you'd like
    • PRO
      OnePlan
      9 years ago
      Live the dream !! Have a home in Tuscany for real and have this one smartened up and sold on with as a whole or in parts - if you can stand getting it done ? Keep a small second home in UK near your offspring perhaps ?!

      Happy to be a sounding board for your design questions - drop me an email if you like - bit easier than an open forum to chat about more specific stuff !
      Click on my pro page for details!
    • lnsail
      9 years ago
      It IS hard to make a major change in your life! After retiring last year, and having raised my kids, and cared for elderly parents, I was able to make the change and do something just for myself. I moved to Hawaii and have made a new life. The things that made this work for me was that it was a place I had lived in as a child and had visited many times (and I knew I wouldn't get "island fever"...that I enjoy ocean activities, the local culture, climate, and people). I do miss family and old friends but they are scattered and did not live nearby anyway.
      I would advise visiting the places where you think you might want to live and not just do tourist activities but rather take in the day to day life of residents.
      Having a counselor help you sort out your thoughts and feelings can help when you have never given yourself the time or the permission to discover your passions or to put yourself first. It helped me.
    • minnie101
      9 years ago
      A good point made by One Plan. If you do decide to sell and downsize you need to find a good IFA to advise on investments. Speak to friends and colleagues etc for recommendations in your area. It is very unlikely you will find an IFA to give sound advice on tax given the complexity unless it is just on investments ( and even then it may be a struggle!). If you have the cash to develop and convert to flats then do speak to an accountant in the first instance as there are tax implications. Some accountants will give the first 30 minutes of advice for free so you may get lucky! I would speak to a life coach or someone impartial in the first instance to work out what you want to do. If you do follow the Tuscan dream then look at practicalities, do you speak italian, do you drive, are you outgoing etc etc. If you do decide just to do the house up for sale then repost on here! Good luck!
    • vicky lee
      Original Author
      9 years ago
      Thanks for all the helpful offers and advice so far. Let's have a recap on today's help.

      I can potentially divide my house into flats and perhaps live in one of them. Or I can rethink the house and make it more presentable for sale. Possibly even making it more attractive to live in myself.
      Definitely I would turn to One Plan for professional design and as a sounding board. Both from the advice given to this question and the amazing designs I see for the complex problems other people have presented.

      Another offer Is to buy my house and build me a home at the bottom of my garden. This eases my having to deal with all the builders etc. However though this has been done all around me it aggravates and alienates the neighbours and I myself have opposed such plans through loss of light etc in my other close neighbours garden. This alternative allows me to both stay and go. However it doesn't feel that it solves my problem at present. Actually come to think of it it's quite dark down at the bottom of my garden.
      In my fantasy the Tuscan dream house is at the bottom of the garden. It's the lovely natural stones and simplicity. It can't manifest in reality. Living permanently abroad I don't think is a reality, but maybe I would like a few months in a rented house in the warm sunshine just to potter without my unsolved home problem gnawing away at my spirit.
      There is the advice on therapy which I can see would help to find inner direction and get in touch with my spirit. This is a real possibility and I know where to find this help.
      A life coach too is a real need. An accountants advice on the real financial implications and independent financial advice. Gosh it's going to be a full time job!!!
      Friends and family are there for me but want me to follow my dream, but it hasn't manifested as I had no time and space to muse and explore until now.
      I did try staying up in the Yorkshire Dales for a few weeks a couple of years ago wondering if I could live there again. It was where I was born and is very beautiful. It was dark and cold and rained for three weeks and it was summer. My spirit is in need of light and warmth at present. Hawaii sounds a wonderful place to make a home particularly with connections.
      While not yet solving the bigger issue I am combing through my years of accumulated stuff and have time to sort it and potter around looking at my familiar space with fresh eyes.
      I will ask a couple of estate agents to come and look at the house. Let's see what they have to say.
      So thank you one and all for giving me your time and it truly feels a wonderful support at a time when I am feeling a bit at sea.

      The big issue is trying to make a decision with emotions and spirit that has practical financial considerations and one where location, beauty and design are prime.
    • Jonathan
      9 years ago
      I would start to declutter your house. This will either help you feel able to leave it and make it more presentable for sale or you will feel less dissatisfied with it and make plans to stay.
      You can get help with this- send unloved or unwanted furniture to the auctions to be disposed of. Unsentimental clothes to charity shops and then take stock- what work does the house need- consult someone who is pragmatic and will highlight the parts you hadn't realised have become shabby or dated.
      Along the way I would hire cleaners and odd job people confident that a minor investment will help with yet to be decided longer term plans.
      Best of luck
    • vicky lee
      Original Author
      9 years ago
      Well thanks for the encouragement and the advice to de clutter.
      Mine of course isn't clutter , it's just stuff waiting for a new home, a job, or to be found a use. Well I know you call it clutter, but I would say let me find a nicer sounding word. At moments my stuff will do. It's just that I never gave my home the time and attention it needed. I also didn't know who to turn to for help. I also was very poor for a long time and it sort of still has echoes. I need to let poverty go as well as stuff I don't need.

      I have reached out to my first professional organiser and am ready to make a start next week.
    • crowningfashion
      9 years ago
      Whatever you do, take your time. Choices such as selling or dividing up the house can be irreversible. To my mind it sounds as if you are ready for a new focus and your house is it. I wonder if you could do the de-cluttering and create a couple of guest bedrooms, maybe even put in an en-suite or two and rent the rooms to foreign exchange students in the summer, or a student or two all year. My old uni lecturer rented out his basement room - it had an en-suite and a kitchette. My friend rented it and although it was small, she enjoyed staying in a nicely decorated place and living with her boyfriend in privacy and not having to share facilities. You could even think of fostering. Maybe take on an older child and just offer emergency over night accommodation etc. It sounds to me as if you need to focus on what you want to do with your life and retirement, and now that your family have left home, you are left with what looks to be a fantastic home. If it were me, I would look to rent a room or two either to an exchange student or a professional person who needs a room Monday-Friday, leaving the house free for on the weekend. If you are sociable and enjoy company this would be a good way for you to go maybe. Also, being able to offer such a large house, another option would be to decorate it and refresh it to a reasonably good standard and offer it as a holiday house swap. A spacious and beautiful house like yours no matter where it is would be popular. In return you could travel the world and meet other families and partake of social groups such as wine tasting etc when overseas, thus giving you the adventure you may be seeking. My mother always taught me (and only now is it resonating after decades of work) that it is easy to give something away but harder to get it back. My advice - keep the house and think how you can use it to give your retirement an adventure without losing your main asset. Afterall, you can always sell it if you ever get to the stage where you want to sit in a chair all day watching chat shows. Then it won't matter where you live ;)
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