How to Cohabit When Your Styles Totally Clash
Read this guide to compromise before you start ‘accidentally’ dropping your partner’s hideous belongings…
Karen Wilson
13 February 2016
UK based Houzz contributor and freelance property and interiors journalist with experience in both the regional press and national magazines. I've picked up loads of tips from homeowners and experts alike, having visited hundreds of gorgeous real homes across the North of England.
UK based Houzz contributor and freelance property and interiors journalist with experience... More
You may be sickeningly compatible in almost every way – you have the same attitude to money, share a passion for Japanese food, and both have a penchant for crime drama – but your interior design styles are worlds apart. Perhaps you love bold colour and your partner’s reluctant to stray beyond the neutrals page of the paint brochure, or, worse, you’re moving in with someone who’s attached to a mishmash of ‘collectables’ with which they could never part.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, check out these ideas for compromises – they may just stop you calling in the divorce lawyer!
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, check out these ideas for compromises – they may just stop you calling in the divorce lawyer!
Solve the colour issue
Shacked up with a colour-phobe? You may well have to rein in your more outré chromatic urges and shelve that idea of combining tartan wallpaper with a bright pink feature wall.
Why not go along with their cautious leanings and agree to a neutral base on the proviso you’ll be allowed to introduce a few accent colours through accessories in a mutually agreeable shade?
Shacked up with a colour-phobe? You may well have to rein in your more outré chromatic urges and shelve that idea of combining tartan wallpaper with a bright pink feature wall.
Why not go along with their cautious leanings and agree to a neutral base on the proviso you’ll be allowed to introduce a few accent colours through accessories in a mutually agreeable shade?
Have a purge party for two
Get your bin bags at the ready and set aside a day to purge your home. If you haven’t used it in the last two years, bin it, sell it, or donate it. And to make the task more palatable, agree to spend any proceeds on a fun shared activity – a meal out, massage for two or weekend away perhaps.
Be ruthless but fair, adopting a ‘you chuck, I chuck’ policy, so the sacrifices aren’t all one-sided.
Be inspired by these dos and don’ts for a calmer, tidier home
Get your bin bags at the ready and set aside a day to purge your home. If you haven’t used it in the last two years, bin it, sell it, or donate it. And to make the task more palatable, agree to spend any proceeds on a fun shared activity – a meal out, massage for two or weekend away perhaps.
Be ruthless but fair, adopting a ‘you chuck, I chuck’ policy, so the sacrifices aren’t all one-sided.
Be inspired by these dos and don’ts for a calmer, tidier home
Find a sofa that suits you both
The sofa is a key item in any home. Luckily, there are so many designs out there you should be able to find one you both love.
If you’re fans of the eclectic trend for mixing up different sofas and chairs, you could even combine two different sofas within your theme. And if one of you favours comfort while the other is all about style, how about a velvet chesterfield – the shabby kind that’s both squishy and elegant at the same time?
The sofa is a key item in any home. Luckily, there are so many designs out there you should be able to find one you both love.
If you’re fans of the eclectic trend for mixing up different sofas and chairs, you could even combine two different sofas within your theme. And if one of you favours comfort while the other is all about style, how about a velvet chesterfield – the shabby kind that’s both squishy and elegant at the same time?
Blend contemporary and traditional
If one of you favours clean lines and sleek surfaces, with everything hidden neatly away, while the other loves collecting vintage treasures, you can still find a happy medium. Let the contemporary lover have their way with clean white walls, a simple modern sofa, and a wall of plentiful storage to which you can add a few select pieces.
Or what about having a ‘vintage corner’, perfect in an L-shaped room, where smaller knick-knacks can be displayed?
If one of you favours clean lines and sleek surfaces, with everything hidden neatly away, while the other loves collecting vintage treasures, you can still find a happy medium. Let the contemporary lover have their way with clean white walls, a simple modern sofa, and a wall of plentiful storage to which you can add a few select pieces.
Or what about having a ‘vintage corner’, perfect in an L-shaped room, where smaller knick-knacks can be displayed?
Learn to love what they love
There will always be one ‘ugly’ (in your opinion) item that your other half would risk life and limb to rescue if the house were on fire. But remember that ugly ducklings can become swans.
Could it be reupholstered or repainted? Would a few well-placed cushions disguise its hideousness, or could different handles or legs give it a new lease of life? A sheepskin is a great option thrown over a chair with upholstery that’s seen better days, transforming it into something like this gorgeous specimen pictured.
There will always be one ‘ugly’ (in your opinion) item that your other half would risk life and limb to rescue if the house were on fire. But remember that ugly ducklings can become swans.
Could it be reupholstered or repainted? Would a few well-placed cushions disguise its hideousness, or could different handles or legs give it a new lease of life? A sheepskin is a great option thrown over a chair with upholstery that’s seen better days, transforming it into something like this gorgeous specimen pictured.
Avoid the TV spat
When it comes to televisions, invariably one person wants a huge 60-incher and the other would prefer a dainty model half that size. A 45in TV is the obvious compromise, but there are plenty of other options, too. Disguise it in a cabinet with sliding doors or create a recess in the chimney breast above your fireplace so the TV can be hidden by a picture when not in use.
Discover more creative ways to blend your TV into your scheme
When it comes to televisions, invariably one person wants a huge 60-incher and the other would prefer a dainty model half that size. A 45in TV is the obvious compromise, but there are plenty of other options, too. Disguise it in a cabinet with sliding doors or create a recess in the chimney breast above your fireplace so the TV can be hidden by a picture when not in use.
Discover more creative ways to blend your TV into your scheme
Navigate the carpet vs wood quandary
One of you loves carpet and the other will only consider a wooden floor. How about compromising with carpet in the bedrooms and wood in the living room? Or opting for wood throughout, but with the carpet-lover getting a free choice on all the supersized rugs to make it homely and comfy underfoot?
Check out 10 things a rug can do for you
One of you loves carpet and the other will only consider a wooden floor. How about compromising with carpet in the bedrooms and wood in the living room? Or opting for wood throughout, but with the carpet-lover getting a free choice on all the supersized rugs to make it homely and comfy underfoot?
Check out 10 things a rug can do for you
Make room for musical instruments
Musical instruments are often wonderfully crafted objects, so if one of you plays, try to view it not as clutter that’s spoiling your carefully thought-out scheme, but as a thing of beauty that can be incorporated into it.
A moveable instrument, such as a guitar, violin or saxophone, could actually be hung on the wall or given its own special shelf or glass-fronted cabinet.
Musical instruments are often wonderfully crafted objects, so if one of you plays, try to view it not as clutter that’s spoiling your carefully thought-out scheme, but as a thing of beauty that can be incorporated into it.
A moveable instrument, such as a guitar, violin or saxophone, could actually be hung on the wall or given its own special shelf or glass-fronted cabinet.
Pick your battles
Sometimes your styles are such polar opposites that designing a room together seems like an impossibility. Instead, agree to collaborate and compromise on the room in which you’ll be spending most time – most likely the living room or kitchen-diner – and give each other free rein to furnish another room apiece.
Sometimes your styles are such polar opposites that designing a room together seems like an impossibility. Instead, agree to collaborate and compromise on the room in which you’ll be spending most time – most likely the living room or kitchen-diner – and give each other free rein to furnish another room apiece.
Remember the joy of teamwork
Arguably the perfect partner is someone who doesn’t care about interior design or DIY and is happy to let you get on with it or call in the pros. Yes, you’d get your own way without having to compromise, but think about what you’d miss – a sounding board, a second opinion, a good laugh when you mess it all up.
There’s nothing more satisfying than sitting on the front step after a hard day’s DIY graft, covered from head to toe in dust, eating takeaway fish and chips with the one you love.
TELL US…
Does your style totally clash with your partner’s – and have you found ways around it? Share your stories and tips in the Comments below.
Arguably the perfect partner is someone who doesn’t care about interior design or DIY and is happy to let you get on with it or call in the pros. Yes, you’d get your own way without having to compromise, but think about what you’d miss – a sounding board, a second opinion, a good laugh when you mess it all up.
There’s nothing more satisfying than sitting on the front step after a hard day’s DIY graft, covered from head to toe in dust, eating takeaway fish and chips with the one you love.
TELL US…
Does your style totally clash with your partner’s – and have you found ways around it? Share your stories and tips in the Comments below.
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Oh timely timely article. HAVING a sofa was the first sign of disagreement - versus two hard high-back chairs found 15 years ago at a car boot. "Push ahead regardless' worked here. I got the sofa "for me" which helped him discover comfort and afternoon naps. As a result the hard chairs are now in a mates man-cave in Canberra and we have two sofas. I have learned to appreciate and sometimes even love old vinyl records again - not talking about the old favourites we ALL love, talking about stuff from Vinnies like 'Olaf Sveen and His Accordion Orchestra' or 'The Moscow Boys Choir Hum the Hits of James Last'. I have compromised - making room alongside my (reasonably) many books for his (less reasonably) many 'Things with Buttons and Dials' that no-one can use. I no longer ask why one man needs 5 guitars and 9 surfboards and he backs away from all home colour choices. Now we are facing our biggest challenge - called here 'The Purge Party for Two' (I like it and may make a banner for the occasion) - as we finally tackle the garage and spare bedroom over the next 2 weekends, which is where the "lets sort it out later" stuff has been put. Its a battle we have picked together and, knowing it will lead to at least some cranky frustration (most likely mine), we have booked a kayaking weekend away together at Easter, once its done, to remember its not that insurmountable and we do have things in common! In the meantime here are two photos of the top of his wardrobe (representing every surface in the house) - one how he has it, one how I would like it ........ wish us luck :-)
So true! Even when it comes to sharing a house with roommates - its important to make sure the house is decorated so that everyone can enjoy it!
Amen sister! My partner is into that minimalist bare wall, nothing on shelves kinda look well I love to have photos or paints around and want a splash of color to the room! Agree on hour statement on "pick your battles" it's almost like life advice and not just about the house decoration alone! :) Thank you for sharing!