6 Emotional Challenges You May Face When Tackling Clutter
Decluttering can bring up a lot of unexpected emotions. Learn what to expect and how to get through it
Jeanne Taylor
23 January 2022
Houzz Contributor. Jeanne Taylor is a professional home organizer in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is the co-owner of Tailorly with her business partner Patricia Lee. Together they create beautiful homes through decluttering, organizing, and styling. For more information visit www.tailorly.net.
Houzz Contributor. Jeanne Taylor is a professional home organizer in the San Francisco... More
Decluttering your home is a satisfying but time-consuming project. What you may not realise ahead of time is that sorting through your belongings can bring up a number of emotions, from guilt to nostalgia to feeling overwhelmed.
These emotions are a completely normal part of the decluttering process. Keep in mind that the act of getting rid of things you no longer need can ultimately be very freeing. Read on to understand six emotional challenges that may come up as you declutter, because knowing what to expect can make the process easier.
These emotions are a completely normal part of the decluttering process. Keep in mind that the act of getting rid of things you no longer need can ultimately be very freeing. Read on to understand six emotional challenges that may come up as you declutter, because knowing what to expect can make the process easier.
Fear that you may regret letting an item go
Fear can cause you to hold onto unused items that you think you might need someday. But often these items no longer have a useful function – for instance, outdated or ill-fitting clothes, sports equipment you no longer use, crafting supplies for projects you’ve abandoned, extra towels and bedding that may be stained or worn and that you never use. These items usually sit untouched in cupboards, lofts or garages for years.
Excess belongings can make you feel weighed down and hold you back. Instead of keeping something on the off-chance you’ll need it someday, remind yourself that you don’t need it now and probably won’t in the future. Stay focused on your goal of living in a clutter-free home.
I urge my clients to create an ideabook of photos of their ideal home to remind them of why they’re decluttering in the first place. This can help you keep focused on your goals.
Fear can cause you to hold onto unused items that you think you might need someday. But often these items no longer have a useful function – for instance, outdated or ill-fitting clothes, sports equipment you no longer use, crafting supplies for projects you’ve abandoned, extra towels and bedding that may be stained or worn and that you never use. These items usually sit untouched in cupboards, lofts or garages for years.
Excess belongings can make you feel weighed down and hold you back. Instead of keeping something on the off-chance you’ll need it someday, remind yourself that you don’t need it now and probably won’t in the future. Stay focused on your goal of living in a clutter-free home.
I urge my clients to create an ideabook of photos of their ideal home to remind them of why they’re decluttering in the first place. This can help you keep focused on your goals.
Fear that you may lose out on something valuable
Many of my clients fear they’ll be letting go of something valuable. To overcome this fear, I recommend they look up the item on eBay to get a realistic sense of its current market value. Many people find they’ve been overestimating the potential sales price of their valuables.
For items you suspect are truly valuable, consider having them appraised. That way you can identify the price at which you would be willing to part with the piece, rather than have it continue to take up space in your home.
Feel you’d like some help to work through your belongings? Find a professional organiser near you.
Many of my clients fear they’ll be letting go of something valuable. To overcome this fear, I recommend they look up the item on eBay to get a realistic sense of its current market value. Many people find they’ve been overestimating the potential sales price of their valuables.
For items you suspect are truly valuable, consider having them appraised. That way you can identify the price at which you would be willing to part with the piece, rather than have it continue to take up space in your home.
Feel you’d like some help to work through your belongings? Find a professional organiser near you.
Guilt about getting rid of a gift or an inherited item
Many people find it difficult to part with an item because of guilt, especially if it was a gift. But professional organiser Marie Kondo reminds us that gifts are simply a way of conveying feelings, and that you can appreciate those kind feelings even if you no longer want to keep the gift.
Parents can also cause adult children to feel guilt. Some parents give their used furniture to grown offspring after buying new furniture for themselves. Children may feel guilty for not accepting the free gift. The children might never establish their own style because they haven’t had the opportunity to make their own choices. Guilt also can come into play when getting rid of items inherited after someone dies.
Family dynamics and guilt are among the more challenging issues you may face when decluttering. A good professional home organiser can help coach you through choices and keep you focused on your goals.
Many people find it difficult to part with an item because of guilt, especially if it was a gift. But professional organiser Marie Kondo reminds us that gifts are simply a way of conveying feelings, and that you can appreciate those kind feelings even if you no longer want to keep the gift.
Parents can also cause adult children to feel guilt. Some parents give their used furniture to grown offspring after buying new furniture for themselves. Children may feel guilty for not accepting the free gift. The children might never establish their own style because they haven’t had the opportunity to make their own choices. Guilt also can come into play when getting rid of items inherited after someone dies.
Family dynamics and guilt are among the more challenging issues you may face when decluttering. A good professional home organiser can help coach you through choices and keep you focused on your goals.
Guilt related to your item finding a ‘good home’
Others feel guilty letting go without knowing the ultimate destination of their donations. This is understandable, as they want their items to be used and appreciated.
One way of reframing this issue is to recognise that if the item is sitting unused in a cupboard for years, it’s not really being appreciated anyway. Donating it will give it a chance to be used by someone else and enjoy a new life.
You might also enjoy These Are the Tidying Methods Experts Swear By.
Others feel guilty letting go without knowing the ultimate destination of their donations. This is understandable, as they want their items to be used and appreciated.
One way of reframing this issue is to recognise that if the item is sitting unused in a cupboard for years, it’s not really being appreciated anyway. Donating it will give it a chance to be used by someone else and enjoy a new life.
You might also enjoy These Are the Tidying Methods Experts Swear By.
Nostalgia or sentimental feelings that make taking decisions hard
Not being able to get rid of sentimental memorabilia is one of the biggest obstacles many of my clients face when trying to declutter. Childhood treasures, old books, travel souvenirs, baby clothes and children’s artwork are all difficult to part with.
Fortunately, we can keep images of the belongings we decide to let go. One client boxed up her favourite artwork by each child and bravely sent it off to an online company that took photos of each piece and bound the images in a beautiful book.
Another creative client made a quilt out of her daughter’s baby clothes. Still another edited her treasures down to one box for each child. She saved a few special memories from the baby and preschool years – the hospital bracelet, first shoes, a favourite outfit. Other items she photographed and then was able to say goodbye.
Not being able to get rid of sentimental memorabilia is one of the biggest obstacles many of my clients face when trying to declutter. Childhood treasures, old books, travel souvenirs, baby clothes and children’s artwork are all difficult to part with.
Fortunately, we can keep images of the belongings we decide to let go. One client boxed up her favourite artwork by each child and bravely sent it off to an online company that took photos of each piece and bound the images in a beautiful book.
Another creative client made a quilt out of her daughter’s baby clothes. Still another edited her treasures down to one box for each child. She saved a few special memories from the baby and preschool years – the hospital bracelet, first shoes, a favourite outfit. Other items she photographed and then was able to say goodbye.
Feeling overwhelmed
This may be the most common emotional state someone tackling their clutter faces. Lots of people feel overwhelmed by decluttering and organising and don’t know where to start.
Others have a hard time getting motivated, because they’re not sure how to sort their items or how to make decisions about what to get rid of. Still others have no idea what to do with the items they’re ready to part with.
In particular, decluttering a packed garage or loft can be extremely time-consuming. You have to make a huge mess of your possessions before items can be sorted, decided upon and packed away again. For this large task, you might consider hiring a professional home organiser to help you.
Tell us…
Have you found it hard to let items go when decluttering your home? Share your thoughts and tips in the Comments.
This may be the most common emotional state someone tackling their clutter faces. Lots of people feel overwhelmed by decluttering and organising and don’t know where to start.
Others have a hard time getting motivated, because they’re not sure how to sort their items or how to make decisions about what to get rid of. Still others have no idea what to do with the items they’re ready to part with.
In particular, decluttering a packed garage or loft can be extremely time-consuming. You have to make a huge mess of your possessions before items can be sorted, decided upon and packed away again. For this large task, you might consider hiring a professional home organiser to help you.
Tell us…
Have you found it hard to let items go when decluttering your home? Share your thoughts and tips in the Comments.
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I've commented earlier, but until today avoided saying much about the ones I can get "het-up" about. Books, photos, fabric, yarn, scrap lumber and drywall, wall paint. Furniture - no problem, out to the curb. Old yard equipment or old appliances - no problem, out to the curb if they're not eligible for the rescue mission. Old clothes - no problem, to the church or rescue mission.
About those photos - I feel like I have inherited responsibility for our family history. It's like being the elder in a tribe, the one who began memorizing the tribe's origin stories in childhood. If the stories are not passed on the tribe will become extinct. It is slow, tedious, but I've been making progress. My next step is to assemble albums of photos, newspaper articles and such for my children and adult grand children. Some things will have to be duplicated and there is the challenge of getting 4 cassette tapes of interviews with my grandpa converted to CDs and USB drives in an effort to keep up with technology.
About all the other stuff: I was born during WWII, therefore I was raised by parents and grandparents who went through the depression. I've been poor enough to live in my car - a VW bug, and done well enough to build a house in the foothills on 5 acres. I still remember my roots.
Waste not, want not.
My challenge is to find uses for everything. I feel guilty just thinking about throwing it away.
Old lumber became a balance beam for toddler granddaughter, now a seating platform for tree-climbing granddaughter, and maybe next summer we can cobble together some walls to make a proper tree house. She started making a fairy garden using rocks last summer, maybe expand to a fairy house or - whatever interests her next.
Yarn - dolls, dream catchers, friendship bracelets, hats, scarves, gloves, dish cloths ....
Fabric - An opaque covering for the small window in the door to the church's childrens' room, hung in a way that it can be quickly closed in an emergency. Other scraps "glued" (cornstarch paste) to windows that have to open when the window A/C is installed but still obscure spying from the outside. Pillows, coverlets, pin cushions, aprons, ...
At least I have choices of something to do, beside parking my butt in front of the boob tube.
Oh my gosh Kathleen Marineau hit the nail right on the head. I am also the keeper of my tribe's history, My elderly aunt even gave me the old photos of my Dad and his siblings and parents because her kids weren't interested. I even keep an album with wedding, birth and death invitations and anouncements. I have an album with newspaper clippings because at some point in time various members of my immediate family have made it in the newspapers.
I have various kitchen implements that belonged to my mother and paternal grandmother. I let a lot go when I moved from 1/2 acre with 2 homes to a 3 bed condo. I was able to give much away for free in my small seaside community using Facebook Buy and Sell besides selling many items. I spent 4 years disposing of items after my husband passed. He had many hobbies but so did I.
I was a professional seamstress and hoarded fabric and notions the same way my husband hoarded lumber and tools.
We both volunteered in stores that sold used items. ReStore and a hospital auxiliary thrift store where we picked up and brought home way too much.
Kitchen items - we both loved to cook and brought home every kind of utensil and device
Decor - I love vintage and picked decorative items up at garage sales and thrift stores
Fabric and notions and craft items - oh those dangerous thrift stores.
Here I am, a single senior lady living in a 3 bedroom condo with 3 storage lockers in the building because I have too much stuff! I am working on it though
I emptied 2 bins of yarn and fabric in 2024. Going for 2 more this year. Some say I should set my sights higher, but I'd rather exceed my goal than fail.