Here's an update on the work. I've finished the pebbledash first coat, and the painter did the fascias, soffits, door and window. The green I chose came out a lot darker than I thought, but never mind. What do you think? What's left to do is add some nice pots in front, put up the guttering (I'm going to do that now), another coat of the white masonry paint, and of course the most important part, put a cat image in the window!

I agree with Stitched that if you want blackout, you need blackout lining; proper darkness is unbeatable for getting a decent night's sleep. Like you, I wanted blackout AND to keep the bedroom curtains looking light and airy, and we solved it by hanging two sets of curtains from the same pole, using the same rings and hooks. The back curtain is a blackout lining in very light beige, just enough to cover the window plus a *little bit* of fold; I think maybe 1.5 times the width of the window. The material is not really very thick or stiff, it's actually quite flowing. In front, we hung very pleated/gathered, gauzy white linen curtains; I think they are 3 or 4 times the width of the window. Because the blackout curtains are less wide, they don't bulk up at the side when opened and sit fairly flat when closed over the window, allowing the white linen, which is very gathered, to billow in front. I hope this makes sense -- it's actually very simple but a bit awkward to explain!

For one, I really am lost for words. It all seems OTT and pretentious and taking itself way too seriously....... just to describe something that at the end of the day, is likely to have ketchup smears and cereal and milk spilled on it, next to piles of dirty plates. Or maybe it's just me, who finds an advert like this a little bit cringeworthy.

Hi Jennie, I like your idea of slatted fencing to the top of the wall. This would give year-round privacy and I think it would look neat rather than hard. You could soften the look with clematis in pots - there are some wonderful varieties that are bred specially for patio containers (Raymond Evison plants). I would avoid bamboo in pots. I've recently got rid of my black bamboo that was in large pots (45cms square). They were needed alot of care, frequent watering and when it is wet and windy they are unpleasant to walk past as their damp leaves smack you in the legs and face!