Sofa etiquette or how to deal with generous neighbours
Help!! Seriously, I desperately need some advice, as I have no idea how to deal with this.
I came home yesterday to find a sofa in my kitchen. Hubby reported that our neighbour (let's call her Kate) stopped him as he was coming from the gym and told him she wants me to have this sofa and could he please get it now - the silly man didn't argue, he just picked it up and brought it home (!!?!!)
Now, Kate is a great lady, I love her! she's quite bonkers, loud and exuberant, she really is a character (in the best possible way!!). We are not close, but quite friendly, chatting weekly; she told me a few weeks ago she wants to re-do her basement and called me over to give her some advice. I noticed that little sofa in a corner and told her 'it's lovely' and she should try to incorporate it in her new design. Kate has lovely (inherited) furniture, as well as some exquisite Asian pieces from when she lived abroad.
Clearly, she decided not to keep the sofa and to give it to me without asking if I want it... and I don't, as we don't have room for it and it doesn't fits our style at all.
Stupid me, yesterday instead of going over and ask her how come I'm the new owner of a love sofa, I grabbed the bouquet of flowers I'd just bought, a bottle of bubbly and went over to say thank you. She was on the phone when she opened the door, said quickly something like 'you are welcome, sweetie' and telling me 'she'll be coming around to see where I put it', before I even managed to say two words.
Seriously, what am I supposed to do with a (lovely but unwanted) piece of furniture. I know she won't have it back... can I just listed on Freecycle or see if some other friends may want it (although I don't think so). How do I get rid of that sofa without hurting her feelings ... help!!!
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Comments (146)Having looked through this post, I have to say I love the way that this project has progressed so far. The dark purpleyblue used in your lights would be lovely for a splash of color perhaps paired with a softer pale blue. Some great pillows that would go in this way include a soft of aubergine and eggplant shade. (As demonstrated by the drape examples here). Good luck I look forward to seeing where your project takes you next as it looks a lovely peaceful room. :)...See MoreHELP ! New neighbours taken our privacy
Comments (18)I do feel for you, a similar thing has happened where I live. Two storey flats overlooking pensioners bungalows. Privacy has gone and light is reduced. Complaints were put in, a petition was put in but 42 flats brings in a lot of revenue for the local council. The value of our property has dropped as a result of this - I paid a premium to buy the place as we were not overlooked at all previously. It is heart breaking and soul destroying, one of the neighbours succumbed to the depression and has now been taken into care. A chap moved into the upper flat across the road from me and as the flats are so close I can see he has a mole the size of a new penny on his left shoulder!! Scuze me for passing on this rather personal information - that is how close the flats are and the lack of privacy on both sides. I do not want to move and lose money, am too old to be doing with the upheaval anyway. These are sad times we live in....See MoreLive Chat: How to bring personality into your home, December 3rd 12pm
Comments (66)They'll never go out of style Tom - NEVER!! Haha! A10) Ohhh I love eclectic style, Maxine, and yes, I mix styles all the time in my own home! I will say, for as easy as it sounds to just throw everything you love into a space, it’s actually one of the hardest looks to do really well – that’s not to discourage you of course because when it all comes together, it’s incredibly satisfying! While it may be tempting to just include everything you like from all different styles together in one space, the resulting feeling will be one of over-stimulation and confusion. So the secret of this seamless integration requires creativity and some self-imposed boundaries. Sticking with a structured colour palette will give the room cohesiveness without making the room flat and uninteresting. Start with a neutral base for your larger pieces, your paint colours and/or your flooring as a means of grounding the space. Pay attention to how pieces relate to one another and how they relate to the room as a whole. One oversized piece is absolutely fine but 3 or 4 will make the room look cluttered and uncomfortable. Despite using mid-century hoop chairs alongside a more traditional chesterfield in my own living room, the backs of the chairs are of similar height to the low-lying sofa back. There is continuity of the eyeline and nothing jars too dramatically. You also want to ensure that when borrowing from different eras, you mix and match throughout the space – having a mid-century console table with art of the same era hanging above it and then a Victorian style fireplace with an ornate mirror in a different part of the room is going to look ‘off’. Take that artwork and hang it above the fireplace instead and perhaps use the more ornate mirror above the console table instead! Hope that helps!...See MoreHow do you say goodbye to a home?
Comments (44)Susangirl, thank you for your understanding. It is not merely that you show some basic human sympathy and decency, though; it is that you have identified the some of the practicalities. I'd like to know what Jan Johnson thinks I should have done instead. I was very well aware of the risk of feathering the owner's nest, but because I was grateful to have any place to stay, as I have said, I worked on the house. And there is also the issue which JJ hads not picked up on, which is that we did not have any choice. The place was essentially unfirnished and in a terrible state. Should we have abandoned any hope of a decent quality of life in case we were finally mistreated? This place was our home. Should we have applied the same approach wherever we went thereafter? What kind of life is that? Not so far from the kind of life people led in the shacks and tied-cottages in pre-war WWII plantations in Louisiana, perhaps, which I'm reading about just now. The comment "Did you think to keep a diary?" is seeking to blame the victims of greed and utter lack of scruple, and indeed conceivably downright fraud. I think about many things, Jan Johnson! A diary does not cut a lot of ice evidentially. What's your point? The kind of fraud which, as the Inland Revenue told me, does not get investigated as often as it should because there is so much of it - I refer to the avoidance of CBT, which is why we were told to leave furniture items behind. So that the house looked occupied. Note too that it was an ex-council house. The owner had bought it from council tenants who had themselves bought it. That's one more affordable property removed from the system....See MoreLuciana
7 years agoThanks, temple, that's quite reasonable. I babbled something about kitchen when I gave her the flowers, so I could use that, as it really doesn't go with our stuff. I just dread the conversation... is there any other way, I wonder?
E D, I'm in Cardiff, you're welcome to it if you want it, obviously if Kate agrees to let me dispose of it. Have to warn you though, it has a musty smell, like old wet leather, I used a full can of swede cleaner on it with no effect....
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7 years agolast modified: 7 years agoHello ladies&gents!
And thank you for your continued interest in the sofa adventures of a confused housewife! The issue has been resolved! however, you don't get to know the result until you have all the details, so bear with me please :)....
It's been a mad week - a friend of ours asked if we could 'babysit' his 2 years old Springer Spaniel for a couple of days. Of course, we'd love to, the idiot us (hubby&I) said, we'd be delighted, as we want to get a dog anyway and this would be good practice.
After 2 days with Bonnie, I came very close to committing suicide :)) - due to tiredness and because I just couldn't stop laughing hysterically at Andrew who was trying to logically reason with the dog. Bonnie is the most delightful creature I've met in a long time, exuberant, happy, running mad all over the place, chasing every bug in existence, barking mad at every sound, sleeping for 10 minutes to wake up barking at... gods know what... she'd be pulling the leash like she was being chased by hell-hounds, almost dislocated my shoulder a few times, always trying to find a puddle to splash in, she jumped in the river - Andrew almost had a heart attack, as she was trying to go across instead of returning to him...
Why I'm telling you all this? Because in my 5 hours sleep for 3 nights, evidently I didn't want to approach Carol and conduct a tactful discussion with her - that was just beyond my abilities.. However, loony Bonnie forced my hand after deciding that, even though it doesn't smell very nice, Kate's sofa was a lot better than her doggy bed, so she 'moved in' leaving mud, hair and slobbering all over the thing. I admit, I felt rather insulted, we have all these other perfectly nice sofas, and the dog prefers Kate's... Plus, I put the sofa in the 'out the way, messy corner' in front of the bins (sorry, I didn't tidy up for the photo).
So I went to Kate and told her that 'we have to talk'. I spent half an hour rubbing the sofa down after Bonnie's owner came to get her yesterday - and managed an 8 hours no barking sleep last night. To cut the story short, Kate came for tea an hour ago. I told her directly that I feel very flattered that she offered me the sofa, but there's genuinely no room for it in our house and I just don't know what to do with it (I moved it in this other corner (below) for when she came, not by the bins... naughty me... Oh, and please don't ask why we have a dinghy in the garden... it was supposed to be there for 3 days until Andrew would find a trailer to move it.. that was 7 weeks ago).
Anyway, Kate said 'I knew you're going to say that' and told me she'll have it back. Just like that. Direct, simple, easy... after me agonising about her reaction... it felt very flat and anticlimatic (hence the story about the dog to keep you all entertained :)). Love her, Kate then said 'I'll bring you back the champagne", we decided to drink it together when I'm back from Paris - we're going for 3 weeks, I need to finish the terrace and balcony there... [https://www.houzz.co.uk/discussions/dilemma-in-paris-dsvw-vd~4025568[(https://www.houzz.co.uk/discussions/dilemma-in-paris-dsvw-vd~4025568)
So, that's it! My sincere gratitude and apologies for making you spend time on my non-issue - it's my Latin temperament that drives me to panic and impulse reactions (and Houzz posts). And probably the reason I talk (write) so much...
Thank you all! Bye - for now!
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